frequently argued queries
We receive many unsolicited queries about The Corn Agency. All questions will be addressed here. Please do not contact us with unsolicited questions. If your question is not represented in this space, please check back frequently in the event the question comes to the attention of The Corn Agency. If so, the question will be added below.
Q. I'm a first-time writer who has finished a long book but I haven't gotten any other agents to agree to represent me and my work. Can the powerful The Corn Agency help me? thanks, steve in Miami, Fla., USA.
A. You've come to the right place, Steve, and so have many just like you. Please look at our agent profiles, select the right agent for you, and, if they are currently accepting manuscripts, you can go ahead and initiate the preliminary contacting query.
Q. What will happen once my manuscript has been solicited and approved for submission?
A. After that happens, an agent, representative or reader will read your manuscript and give you feedback—personal feedback—and that's how we do business. Guaranteed. No more form letters, and even our form letters have a handcrafted personal criticism of your rejected unsolicited manuscript written somewhere on them. You want an agent, and we want your book. Even if you have written a very long book, in the end you may be the proud author of a lean, mean rollercoaster novella that hits all the right beats and hits them fast and hard and nobody else can do that for you but The Corn Agency. Not the self-serving "much-bally-hooed" agents who prey on writers, not the fat-cat big-city boys at the New York publishing cigar parties, nobody. Nobody but The Corn Agency, that is.
Q. Who do you represent?
A. What we do is more dynamic than implied by the word "Represent." We do use that term frequently throughout this web site, but in a shorthand sort of way that is not perfectly descriptive or legally binding in any way. Clients commit themselves to be nurtured and managed and guided by The Corn Agency. Anonymously, and we guarantee your privacy by not releasing your name un-strategically at any time once you are a client. Not when doing so won't help you gain powerful traction according to our long-term strategic plan for you, we won't.
Q. Can you name some clients or names of publishers you have done business with in the past? Thanks, Lawrence S. Miller [via unsolicited query]
A. Jack Corn's near-legendary contact list and memorized clientele roster are company secrets, and no amount of money will get him to reveal the crown jewels inside the permanently locked doorless impenetrable safety vault.
Q. Most agents tell you names of published authors they locked down tight in a contract, so why won't [The] Corn Agency? Peace out it looks tight tho ignor[e] the haters I'll get up J the James. Brooklyn, Earth
A. [Thanks for asking, J the James--this is the webmaster answering you by the way because Mr. Corn is out of touch on business until the 5th and lots of people are confused by some of the answers and keep asking that very question, so I found the answer from our employee handbook which states, "It is company policy not to identify clients unless the communication of the client's identity and message is distributed in a focused manner through established in-house channels for maximum strategic effect." Hope that helps, thanks and best of luck to you -- TS (webmaster@thecornagency.com)]
Q. In the agent bios, some talk about editing my manuscript. Isn't that what the publishing company's editors will do after they buy my book? Can you give me more information please? Thanks, Linda Williams [via email]
A. The Corn Agency contracts an outside company--Corn Literary Services (CLS)--for all in-house editorial needs. All associates of The Corn Agency also work independently as contract service providers for CLS. CLS, fitting of a company that serves The Corn Agency, is one of the most powerful boutique editorial operations in the United States of America. CLS is not afraid to put publishers, corporate copy editors, writers, underwriters, authors and other literary-service providers in their places. CLS wants to be a successful writer's best friend, but if that's not possible, and push comes to shove, Jack Corn, who also serves as president of CLS, does not back down from any writer, no matter how famous or anonymous they are. If you cross the line, if you don't like the way the ball bounces or you can't wrap your mind around how the book business works—the real book business—then maybe you should send your unsolicited manuscript elsewhere but nobody will look at it because you don't have an agent. "When you come calling," the much-loved Jackie is famously fond of saying, "you follow instructions, don't cross the line, use a courier font and tell John 'Jackie' Corn the truth about your wildest dreams and your worst fears and maybe he'll make you a star."
Q. If I attempt to make any form of contact with The Corn Agency, should I also simultaneously contact other agencies? Can I submit my manuscript with more than one agent or agency?
A. Absolutely. We require it. When other agencies ask you if your manuscript is being considered elsewhere, tell them "No." Good luck.
Q. Many writers judge agents on how fast they respond to email queries. Why does it sometimes take so long for The Corn Agency to respond?
A. This is addressed throughout our web site, and by each individual agent in the agent profiles. In short, we are developing future huge power deals, as well as poring over, analyzing, critiquing and judging unsolicited manuscripts, as well as scouting out promising up-and-comers. Basically, when you approach The Corn Agency, you get a place at the very back of the line and stand there waiting behind people who got there first, but the line does creep forward so be patient. Once you inch your way to the front of the waiting line and have the cashier's full attention, the results will be powerful, eye-opening and transformative for those who wait and do as they are instructed.
Q. Why isn't The Corn Agency a member of … Association of Authors' Representatives (USA), the Association of Authors' Agents (UK), or the Australian Literary Agents' Association, the PMA, the Better Business Bureau, Neighborhood Watch, etc.?
A. The Corn Agency doesn't just follow broadly accepted industry customs and standards, it challenges other literary agencies to regulate themselves, and to ask themselves if they have listed themselves with these organizations because they have guilty consciences. The Corn Agency ferociously competes with every literary agency and agent on the planet, and abides by the famous maxim coined, some say, by the popular Jackie Corn himself: "When it comes to publishing or law-enforcement vehicular traffic stops, cooperation is capitulation." While we whole-heartedly embrace and embody the ideals universally held by even the most marginal agencies out there, we are not currently considering joining these organizations because we are still in search of a grouping of our peers that does not yet exist because we have no peers.
Q. Since your boutique literary agency is not based in New York, how are you in the literary management and boutique agency business? [Margaret Martin, via personal telephone]
A. The Corn Agency has on countless occasions been dragged through the civil litigation system by major writers whose popular books you have likely read in the last 36 months—not bad for a "backwoods" boutique literary agency. Those books weren't ultimately represented by The Corn Agency, and their authors—whose back-stabbing efforts finally got them listed on the industry-respected and widely read Bum List—will be lucky to ever find writing work again. Why aren't they still associated with The Corn Agency? Because when they left The Corn Agency for a non-boutique New York agency, they traded long-term future success and a well-managed career as a beloved and respected and powerful and loved author for some flash-in-the-pan six-donut-hole deal with some uncaring trade outfit and the insulting short-term "riches" that publishing's so-called big boys routinely dangle before the doe eyes of easily seduced first-time writer dummies at the New York negotiation tables. And they can never return to The Corn Agency ever. Nobody pushes John "Jackie" Corn unless they sneak up on me from behind while a runaway cargo truck is barreling down the highway about to run over Big Jack Corn who's standing in traffic smoking a cigar without using his hands and telling the world to kiss his ass.
Q. Why is your client list secret?
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